This season could be described as soooo many things, and almost any adjective or catch phrase that you employ in an attempt to make sense of this season will work. You could describe it as, insane, wacky, anarchist, beyond comprehension, ect. Really any crazy thing you can think of can, and will apply here. Fuck, you could even compare this season to a slinky to a stranger you have never met, and he would probably just nod his head in agreement, not even bothering to ask you how the analogy fucking works. He would just nod in agreement, because your analogy is no better, or worse than his. To quote the immortal Lewis Black, this season has been “Stone Cold Fuck Nuts,” SCFN for short. And there is no team that better exemplifies the point than the Bruins of UCLA. This is a team that has run the length and breadth of the performance scale at least twice in a mere 8 games, they might have snuck a third trip in while we weren’t looking.
Going from this:
To this:.
To This:
To this:
To this:
In this, the most schizophrenic season that I have ever seen, or am likely to ever see in my life there is no team that better exemplifies that point than the Bruins. From week to week you never know what is going to happen to them. This is a sampleing of what this team has done so far this year in terms of statistical anomalies relative to the results.
- UCLA was out gained by BYU by nearly 2 to 1. To be exact the Cougars gained 435 yards, UCLA gained 236. Yet UCLA was plus two in the turnover department and won the game by 10 points.
- UCLA was nearly even with Utah in terms of total yards, 373 for the Bruins, 386 for the Utes. They were identical in 3rd down conversions, going 5 for 16. There was a five minute difference in time of possession in favor of the Utes, but that was not the key stat. UCLA got blown out 44 to 6, the key stat being UCLA’s five turnovers.
- In the Oregon State game UCLA was down to the Beavers going into the 4th quarter 12 to 14. UCLA had been tied or losing for 50 minutes and 48 seconds. They then proceeded to blow it open with a 28 point outburst in a mere 7 minutes, against one of the better defensive units in the conference. With the last score coming with 2:12 left to play in the game. That stats reflect the outcome, with an advantage for the Bruins in total yards, 3rd and 4th down conversions, and turnovers. But UCLA only ran 2 more plays than the Beavers and only had a 1 minute 18 second advantage in time of possession. But the final score was 40 to 14. But all that makes it seem like the Bruins enjoyed complete control of the game, which they didn’t but they won the turnover battle, and the game.
- Against Notre Dame, UCLA had decisive advantages in every category, more total yards, better third down conversion rate. Physically they dominated the game like every other Irish opponent, save Purdue, has done this year. But they coughed the ball up 7 times. No matter how good you may be, or how bad the opponent is, no one can sustain 7 turnovers and win. And they didn’t, going down 20 to 6 and providing lowly Notre Dame their sole win of the year.
- Saturday against Cal the game was split evenly down the middle in most statistical categories. Identical 3rd down conversion percentage, identical yards per pass, identical number of penalties, less than a minute difference in time of possession. But UCLA had a higher total yardage total and yard per play total, and this is the key, they had fewer turnovers.
SCFN. Now the point of this exercise is not to attempt to prove anything about UCLA. Because, frankly you don’t know, and can’t know how this team functions just by looking at box scores. The only lead pipe lock inference that can be drawn from this is that when UCLA wins the turnover battle they win the game, what can not be inferred from statistics is how one team can produce such wild fluctuations from week to week, with do discernible pattern relative to their opponents. For example Notre Dame is the worst defense UCLA will likely face this season, hardly capable of the most remedial tasks like high pointing the ball, or shedding blocks, and yet they forced more turnovers out of this Bruin offense than the much more able and polished unit of Oregon State. Why?
The bottom line here is that UCLA is without a doubt the most schizophrenic team in the country this year. And in the midst of the most schizophrenic season ever these Bruins stand out for there insanity, and it is because of that very insanity that UCLA is the microchosim for this, the craziest season ever. You never know from week to week what is going to happen, because the dynamics of each team shift and change every week, sometimes in dramatic fashion, creating and enhancing, or diminishing, the variables within each team that determines the way they play. Every week has been different, and nothing can be held constant. The variables of performance are constantly changing from week to week, that is why trying to decipher to future out of this mess is impossible. Impossible as it may be, damn this shit is fun.
